Golf watchers are different, too

Here’s another way how golf is different. Those who watch the game from the sidelines are mostly in motion. Not pacy enough to induce motion sickness, but motion, nonetheless. This is no lazy, laidback sport… even the fan-following walks! There are exceptions. Like the time at the 2006 British Open at Royal Liverpool. Young and talented Shiv Kapur was in the lineup and that got some Indians holding passports issued by Her Majesty to the golf course. Sunny day, refreshing breeze, undulating open spaces, and well-located watering holes. Life was good.

Crossing the fairway on the 10th, I couldn’t have missed this pair even if I was visually impaired. The two managed to wobble halfway across and then the knees on one of them gave away. The beer and the sun had taken its toll. The man collapsed in a heap in the middle of the fairway. The friend, not much better off but on his feet, grabbed the dead weight and proceeded to drag him across the rest of the fairway. Apparently, the man closer to the turf was a barrister and he had his way with the law. Couldn’t see him arguing his case with a mouthful of grass. There’s beer at the Masters, too, and when Jeev Milkha Singh played last year, it was also very cold. Somehow, froth and low temperatures don’t mix too well. You could tell by the queues outside the loos. And the squirming faces. Closer home, the Delhi Golf Club doesn’t serve beverages on the golf course but that doesn’t stop patrons from making merry. Once the ‘Quiet please’ signs are put away, you could fill up a golf joke book with the comments that go around. And this one could actually be funny.

The DGC course is known for its character, and it has characters. One member of a twosome was keen to cut across a fairway barricade during the Indian Masters. When admonished, he countered by saying, “How does it matter? Ultimately, we have to get across.” His friend gave him a look, pointed skywards and said: “Actually, ultimately that’s where we have to go. You want to go now?” Here’s another one. Mark O’Meara hits it on the flagstick on the 15th and one grizzly member turns to another and says, “He’s playing just like you. You should be out there!” Throw in the customary Punjabi expletives and you would be pushed to hold still and maintain a dignified silence during play. Watching golf watchers can at times be as entertaining as following the game itself.

Tip i tried: The general perception when it comes to hitting a golf ball is that it needs to be hit dead straight. Yes, maths (or is it physics?) does say that the shortest route between two points is a straight line but in golf, most good players prefer to ‘shape their shot’. That is, either hit it left to right or the other way around to the intended target. This is actually easier to do, if there is any such thing in golf. All golfers have a natural shape to their shots. You are either a slicer or a hooker (a harmless golfing term used for golfers who shape their shots from right to left on a regular basis). Nothing wrong with being either of these.

— Prabhdev Singh is Editor, Golf Digest India