Cocktails, hookah, and a hefty bill: A Delhi man's day out with a Tinder swindler and how you can avoid it

In a distressing tale that sheds light on the risks of online dating, a 28-year-old man from East Delhi found himself ensnared in a harrowing scam after a seemingly innocuous first date. What started as a casual outing for hookah, cocktails, and nachos quickly spiralled into a nightmare when he received an exorbitant bill amounting to approximately Rs 10,000. When he voiced his objections, he faced threats and intimidation, exposing the darker side of online romance.

The prevalence of Indian men falling prey to scams orchestrated by individuals they meet on dating apps has been a growing concern. Adding to this alarming trend is the recent ordeal of a man from Delhi, whose encounter with a woman he connected with on Tinder took a distressing turn.

The victim, who wishes to remain anonymous, shared his ordeal in an exclusive interview. He recounted the events leading up to the scam, shedding light on the tactics employed by the perpetrator.

"It was around ten o'clock at night, and as I navigated through Tinder, a match piqued my interest. After initiating a conversation and exchanging pleasantries, we swiftly progressed to discussing meeting up. We agreed to rendezvous at a spot suggested by yours truly - Diggin Chanakyapuri. Upon arriving at the appointed location, I found myself at a community centre adjacent to the metro station, a tad bit further than anticipated. Nonetheless, after a brief wait, my date arrived, suggesting we relocate to a nearby café. Accommodating her suggestion, we proceeded to the café, although I found the ambience less than appealing," he said.

"As we perused the menu, my companion seemed indecisive, prompting me to suggest ordering. However, her lack of appetite resulted in her leaving the selection to me, and I opted for a light lunch. After placing our order, we engaged in conversation, during which my companion expressed an interest in trying hookah. Curious, I inquired about the price, only to discover an unexpected additional charge for the largest option. Despite my reservations, only to be further surprised by an additional charge upon receiving the bill. Displeased with the exorbitant pricing, I voiced my concerns, only to be met with indifference," he further told Business Today.

He went on to say, "I threatened to involve the authorities and demanded reimbursement for half the bill due to financial constraints. While she initially agreed, she ultimately failed to follow through, opting to block me on various platforms instead."

Instances like these highlight the vulnerabilities associated with online dating and the need for heightened caution. Reddit forums are rife with similar accounts, underscoring the importance of staying informed and vigilant. Pinned posts warning of shady cafes serve as a reminder to exercise discretion and question unfamiliar settings.

The motivations behind such scams remain unclear, whether driven by financial gain or simply a desire for extravagance at the expense of others. Regardless, they serve as a cautionary tale for those navigating the murky waters of online romance.

As the online dating landscape continues to evolve, it is imperative to approach encounters with vigilance and scepticism. While technology has facilitated connections, it has also provided opportunities for exploitation. Let this serve as a reminder to exercise caution and prudence in the pursuit of love and companionship.

Meanwhile, Tinder has implemented new warnings as part of its ongoing efforts to ensure a safe and respectful environment for all users. These warnings are designed to address inappropriate behaviour and provide users with immediate feedback to encourage positive interactions. With a majority of its users falling between the ages of 18 and 25, Tinder recognises the importance of guiding younger users who are new to online dating. The goal is to foster authentic connections while maintaining a respectful community.

Nicole Blumenfeld, VP of Trust & Safety Operations at Tinder said, “Globally, online dating is now the most common way for singles to meet new people, with 53% of people under 30 using dating apps. As the leading dating app, we want to provide our users with the best experience and the best opportunity to discover new authentic connections in a safe, fun and respectful environment. This is particularly important for younger users who are new to online dating. Our Community Guidelines form the basis of a respectful ecosystem. These warnings are designed to provide transparency and to alert users when they are not engaging in acceptable and respectful behaviour. By providing greater transparency to users about their behaviour, not only are we enabling them to immediately ‘course correct’ but also foster a better experience for the wider Tinder community.”

These warnings cover various aspects of in-app behaviour, including harassment, and are divided into categories such as authenticity, respectfulness, and inclusiveness. Tinder employs a combination of machine-learning features and human verification to detect and address violations of its Community Guidelines.

When users receive a warning, it will be delivered in-app via a message from 'Team Tinder,' providing an explanation of the violation and guidance on expected behaviour. These warnings cannot be deleted, and repeated violations may result in profile removal.

To avoid falling victim to similar scams in online dating, consider the following precautions:

1. Meet in Public Places: Choose well-lit, public locations for your first few dates. Avoid obscure or unfamiliar venues, especially if suggested by your date.

2. Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off or too good to be true, trust your gut instincts. Be cautious if your date suggests extravagant or unusual activities, especially if they seem hesitant to share details.

3. Verify Information: Before meeting in person, verify your date's identity through social media or video calls. Look for inconsistencies in their profile or behaviour that may indicate fraudulent intentions.

4. Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and expectations before meeting. Discuss topics such as splitting bills and financial responsibilities to avoid misunderstandings later on.

5. Be Wary of Requests for Money: Be cautious if your date asks for money or financial assistance early in the relationship. This could be a red flag for a potential scam.

6. Stay Informed: Stay updated on common online dating scams and tactics used by fraudsters. Educate yourself on warning signs and best practices for staying safe while dating online.

7. Report Suspicious Activity: If you encounter suspicious behaviour or suspect fraudulent activity, report it to the dating platform and consider contacting local authorities if necessary.

By staying vigilant, setting clear boundaries, and prioritising personal safety, you can reduce the risk of falling victim to online dating scams. Trust your instincts and take proactive steps to protect yourself while navigating the world of online romance.

(With added inputs from Shubham Singh)

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